SHANGAZI: Mistakes most young couples make and how to avoid them

SHANGAZI: Mistakes most young couples make and how to avoid them

The rising trend of failed marriages and divorces is fast-growing, with young couples most affected at the sunrise of marriage.

Many young people get into marriage with the expectation of having a flawless, perfect partner thinking that marriage is the end of all troubles they have been going through not knowing that marriage comes with its challenges.

There are a few things if not taken care of could lead to one’s marriage failing or becoming a nightmare.

Sharing of information concerning your marriage.
Yes, it is not a bad thing to share a few stories about your marriage, but what kind of information should you share? with who? and to what extent? are what couples train themselves to limit.

Stop sharing your marriage problems with your friends to get their opinions. It is your marriage, resolve the issue between yourselves and when advice is needed, talk to an elder who knows much about marriage and is also objective.

Your issues should not force your children to pick sides. They should not even get involved in your fights, make them as private as possible.

Back in the days, an African woman was to stay at home and do house chores, however in this day and time most couples are either employed or own businesses.

“These couples should from time to time exchange some of the duties and responsibilities, like providing for their families and doing household chores,” says Leticia Nchwali, a certified public accountant, married for over 30 years and the author of ‘Married Life’.

However, that does not take away a woman’s role as a wife, a mother, and a caregiver nor the man’s role as a provider, protector, and leader.

Embracing each other’s differences goes a long way. The two of you came together from two different families, nurtured differently, with different beliefs and so need to reach a point of understanding each other’s differences and know what works for you, what does not and what should be done rather than thinking your ways are better than theirs.

Keep in mind that you are still dating each other. You now live together and see each other daily so most would think they no longer need to do things they used to do when they were just dating.

The truth is those things did keep the fire burning and if stopped could damage the relationship. So set aside time to go on dates and baecations and use that time to talk about your marriage, yourselves, your love life, what makes you happy and what does not.

A study showed that married couples who devote time together at least once a week not only have lower divorce rates but also increase the perceived quality of their marriage.

Transparency is key. Many will tell you to have a private life from your partner including your income. I tell you to be transparent with your partner, Being transparent does not mean you do not have privacy.

Everyone has the right to privacy in any kind of relationship but it does not include withholding necessary information that your spouse needs to know to make certain decisions or else that is manipulation.

You can keep your extra income to yourself not to accumulate personal wealth but for any sort of emergency that might arise or handle personal issues or family and friends now and then. but you should have a shared account as a couple and ensure that everything is in order.

Secrets considered to play a part in staining marriage includes;
Job problems, keeping an addiction hidden, legal problems, not revealing an illness, and seeing family and friends secretly.

Always try to resolve issues as soon as you can than piling them up.